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TRY IT ~ tracee advice

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Last week in Tarot Circle we talked about patterns of avoidance in romantic relationships, and about what I’ve learned to call “the control agenda”—a term for the ambitious but typically unrealistic mission to be in total control of our internal environments (thoughts, feelings, sensations). Of course, we’re never in total control, but I think the illusion of control is a lot stronger when we’re alone than it is when we throw another Soul into the mix; at which point the control agenda is suddenly subject to constant & unannounced amendments. Life becomes a crap shoot in which the stakes are at the very least your energy & at the very most your life & legacy. You might have an above average ability to control your immediate environment and in turn some aspects of your internal world, but if you desire relationship, you’ve surely realized by now that you will never (& should never) have that kind of control over other people. I don’t care how many times you read 48 Laws of Power. Ultimately if you are audacious enough to love someone what you are doing is attaching yourself to an energetic wild card. Shit is terrifying. Now, desire animates romantic love, but because the stakes are so high pleasure can’t be the sole criteria with which we make choices. Rachel Pollack wrote that “if we simply go wherever our desires lead us we are often thrown from one experience to another…desire must be tempered with reason, and vice versa.” I’m willing to be wrong about this but I think it is easier to go wherever desire leads than to gamble & really love someone or something. Each of the major arcana cards offer a lesson and I think this is the lesson of The Lovers. How to make the choice between instant gratification and a longterm payoff. How to bond ourselves with things that necessitate the surrender of our overly controlled—and probably limited as a result of it—lives. Whether that thing be a person, a community, a quest, a calling. If you really love something you are risking everything in a way that chasing pleasure doesn’t and will never demand of you. “To love pleasure takes little. To love truly takes a hero who can manage his own fear.” Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

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